::please::

Dear Plus Sign,

At 1:45 today I go in for your first Dr. appointment.  PLEASE just have a heart beat.  Please just let me not hear silence.  Daddy is coming too.  Please - just humor your Mommy's fragile heart and be a little perfect person OR TWO :)   Hearing the silence of Zack's still heart on that Doppler, in front of all your siblings and Dad, was the singular most horrify thing that has ever happen to us all together.  I will never take your siblings to a doctor appointment of yours.  The first time they see anything of you will be when they hold you.

Love Mommy

Today will be the first time I have seen my OB since she saved my uterus and potentially my life (that's a little bit dramatic) when Zack died.  And my ultrasound is in the same room were I saw Zack floating still and knew exactly what I was seeing before I was told.  Same actually machine.